Bear News Beartown News

JULY 1, 2009



A blonde calls her boyfriend and says,
'Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'  
The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a  rooster.'
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, 'First of all, no matter what we do,
we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and  says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and  then  ...' He said with a deep sigh "Let's put all the corn flakes back in the box"

An older gentleman was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon,
perform the operation.
As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his  son.
'Yes, Dad, what is it? '
'Don't be nervous, son; do your best and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me... your mother
is going to come and live with you and your wife.'

 You know you are getting old when
everything either dries up or leaks.

One of the many things
no one tells you about aging
is that it is such a nice change
from being young.



Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me!
I want people to know 'why'
I look this way... I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved.

A distraught senior citizen
phoned her doctor's office.
'Is it true,' she wanted to know, 'that the medication
you prescribed has to be taken
for the rest of my life?'

'Yes, I'm afraid so,' the doctor told her.
There was a moment of  silence before the senior lady replied,
'I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this  prescription is marked

The older we get,
the fewer things
seem worth waiting in line  for.

Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

First you forget names, then you forget faces.
Then you forget to pull up your zipper.
It's worse when you forget to pull it down.




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