APPLYING for a
job at the CIA
A few months
ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin.
These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and
there's a lot of testing and background checks involved
before you can even be considered for the position.
After sending some applicants through the background
checks, training and testing, they narrowed the possible
choices down to two men and a woman, but only one
position was available.
The day came for the final test to see which person
would get the extremely secretive job. The CIA men
administering the test took one of the men to a large
metal door and handed him a gun.
"We must know that you will follow
our instructions whatever the circumstances,"
they explained. "Inside
this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair.
Take this gun and kill her."
The man looked horrified and said,
"You can't be serious! I could
never shoot my wife!"
said the CIA man, "you're
definitely not the right man for this job then."
So they brought the second man to the same door and
handed him a gun. "We must
know that you will follow instructions no matter what
the circumstances," they
explained to the second man.
"Inside you will find your wife
sitting in a chair. Take this gun and kill her."
The second man looked a bit
shocked, but nevertheless took the gun and went in the
room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes; then the door
opened. The man came out of the room with tears in his
eyes. "I tried to shoot
her; I just couldn't pull the trigger and shoot my
wife. I guess I'm not the right man for the job."
the CIA man replied, "You
don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Now they only had the woman left to test. They led her
to the same door to the same room and handed her the
same gun. "We must be
sure that you will follow instructions no matter what
the circumstances; this is your final test. Inside you
will find your husband sitting in a chair. Take this gun
and kill him." The woman
took the gun and opened the door. Before the door even
closed all the way, the CIA men heard the gun start
firing, one shot after another for 13 shots.
Then all hell broke loose in the room. They heard
screaming, trashing, and banging on the walls. This
went on for several minutes; then all went quiet.
The door opened slowly, and there stood the woman. She
wiped the sweat from her brow and said,
"You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with
blanks. I had to beat the *%#(^@+> to death with the
A man is dining in
a fancy restaurant and there is a
gorgeous redhead sitting at the next
table. He has been checking her out
since he sat down, but lacks the nerve
to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes,
and her glass eye comes flying out of
its socket towards the man.
He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out
of the air, and hands it back.
"Oh my, I
am so sorry, "
the woman says as she pops her eye back
"Let me buy your dinner to make it up to
you, " she
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the
theater followed by drinks. They talk,
they laugh, she shares her deepest
dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks
him if he would like to come to her
place for a nightcap and stay for
breakfast. They had a wonderful,
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy
is amazed!! Everything had been SO
" he said,
the perfect woman. Are you this nice to
every guy you meet? "
she replies. . . .
happened to catch my eye."
The husband had just finished reading a
new book entitled
'You Can Be the Man of Your House.'
He stormed into the kitchen and walked
directly up to his wife.
Pointing a finger in her face, he said
"From now on, you need to know that I am
the man of this house and my word is
You will prepare me a gourmet meal
tonight, and when I'm finished eating my
meal, you will serve me a sumptuous
After dinner you are going to go
upstairs with me, and we will have the
kind of sex that I want.
After that, you are going to draw me my
bath so I can relax. You will wash my
back and towel me dry and bring me my
Then you will massage my feet and hands.
Then after that's done, guess who's
going to dress me and comb my hair?"
His wife replied,
"The funeral director would be my
DID SOMEBODY SAY