Bear News Beartown News

JUNE 1, 2010



A sixteen year-old boy came home with a new Chevrolet Avalanche and his parents began to yell and scream, 'Where did you get that truck???!!!' He calmly told them, 'I bought it today.'
'With what money?' demanded his parents. They knew what a Chevrolet Avalanche cost.
"Well,' said the boy, 'this one cost me just fifteen dollars.' So the parents began to yell even louder. 'Who would sell a truck like that for fifteen dollars?' they said.
'It was the lady up the street,' said the boy. I don't know her name - they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars.'
'Oh my Goodness!,' moaned the mother, 'she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next?
John, you go right up there and see
what's going on.' So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting petunias!
He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she had sold a new Chevrolet Avalanche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
'Well,' she said, 'this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but learned from a friend he had run off to Hawaii with his mistress and really doesn't intend to come back.

He claimed he was stranded and needed cash, and asked me to sell his new Chevrolet Avalanche and send him the money.

So I did.'

        Florida Court Sets
        Atheist Holy Day!

In  Florida, an atheist created a case against the upcoming Easter and Passover Holy days.  
He hired an attorney to bring a discrimination case against Christians and Jews and observances of their holy  days.  
The argument was that it was unfair that atheists had no such recognized days.   
 The case was brought before a judge.  After listening to the passionate  presentation by the lawyer, the judge banged his gavel declaring, "Case dismissed!"
The lawyer immediately stood objecting to the ruling saying, "Your honor,  How can you possibly dismiss this case?  The Christians have Christmas, Easter and others.  The Jews have Passover, Yom Kippur and Hanukkah, yet my client and all other atheists have no such holidays.."
The judge leaned forward in his chair saying, "But you do. Your client, counsel, is woefully  ignorant." 
The lawyer said, "Your Honor, we are unaware of any special observance or holiday for atheists.." 
The judge said, "The  calendar says April 1st is April Fools Day. Psalm 14:1 states,  'The fool says in his heart, there is no God.'  Thus, it is the opinion of this court, that, if your client says there is no God, then he is a fool. Therefore, April 1st is his day.  Court is adjourned." 



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