JUNE 1, 2001

HUMOR

Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead
Now it goes to school with her
Between two chunks of bread

ALL THINGS ARE RELATIVE

Suzy Lee fell in love,
She planned to marry Joe.
She was so happy about it all,
She told her pappy so.

Pappy told her, "Suzie Gal.
you'll have to find another.
I'd just as soon yo maw don't know,
But Joe is yo half-brother."

So Suzie forgot about her Joe
And planned to marry Will.
But after telling pappy this,
He said "There's trouble still."

"You can't marry Will, my gal
And please don't tell yo mother,
Cause Will and Joe and several mo
I know is yo half-brother."

But mama knew and said "Honey chile,
Do what makes you happy.
Marry Will or marry Joe,
You ain't no kin to pappy!"

DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN

IN THE CITY

A family from Beartown was visiting a big city for the first time in their lives. The father and son were wandering around as the wife shopped elsewhere. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again.
The boy asked: "Paw, what's 'at?" The father, never having seen an elevator before, responded: "Son, I dunno. I ain't nerer seen anything like that in my entire life. I ain't got no idear what it is."
While the father and son were watching with amazement, a gray old lady with a cane limped up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady entered between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and father watched small numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in reverse order.
Then the walls opened again and a gorgeous, voluptuous young blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, quietly said to his son: "Boy, go git yo momma!"

DEVOTION

A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, "You know what? You have been with me through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. You know what?"
"What dear?" she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
"I think you're bad luck, why don't you leave!"

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