Bear News Beartown News

MAY 1, 2007



 I walked into a Blimpie's with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a sandwich.  I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said "buy one-get one free" "They're already buy-one-get-one-free", she said, "so I guess they're both free".  She handed me my free sandwiches and I walked out the door. 


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when one of them shouted, "Look at that dead bird!" Someone looked up at the sky and said, "Where?" 


My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.  She keeps it in the trunk.


I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and  told the woman there that my bags never showed up.  She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands.  "Now ," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?" 


While looking at a house, my brother asked the real estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning.  She asked, "Does the sun rise in the north?"  When my brother explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, "Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff." 


I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open.  I told her, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."  She responded, "Is that Eastern  or Pacific time?"  Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, "Uh, Pacific."


While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go.  He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.  He thought about it for some time before responding.  "Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces." 




Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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