HUMOR
IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS.
GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE . NOAH'S WIFE WAS
JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND
ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON
IN PEARS.
LOT'S WIFE WAS A
PILLAR OF SALT
DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT
HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE
LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL
LIKE DELILAH.
SAMSON SLAYED THE
PHILISTINES WITH
THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE
RED SEA WHERE
THEY MADE
UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO
MOUNT CYANIDE TO
GET THE
TEN COMMANDMENTS.
THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD
ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT
ADMIT ADULTERY.
MOSES DIED
BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA THEN
JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF
GERITOL.
THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN
JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT
PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO
LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
|
SOLOMON,
ONE OF DAVID'S SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES.
WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE
MOTHER OF JESUS,
SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE
ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE
CONTRAPTION.
ST. JOHN THE
BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS
TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN
DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD
AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF
THE ENTRANCE.
THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED
THE 12 DECIBELS.
THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS
ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS
ALSO A TAXIMAN.
ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED
HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS
CALLED MONOTONY.
|
DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN
|
|
