Bear News Beartown News

APRIL 1, 2008

HUMOR

BLIND COWBOY

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?'
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters,
'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times.'


       REDNECK  FIX

A Kentucky couple, both certified rednecks, had 9 children. They went to the doctor to see about getting the husband "fixed".
The doctor gladly started the required procedure and asked them what finally
made them make the decision--why after nine children, would they choose to
do this.
The husband replied that they had read in a recent article that one out of
every ten children being born in the United States was Mexican, and they
didn't want to take a chance on having a Mexican baby because neither of
them could speak Spanish....

HOW the FIGHT STARTED
 

I rear-ended a car this morning. So there we are alongside the road and:
Slowly the driver gets out of the car. . And you know how you
Just-get-sooo-stressed and life-stuff seems to get funny?
Yeah, well, I could NOT believe it . He was a
DWARF!
He storms over to my car, looks up at me and says,
'I AM NOT HAPPY!'
So, I look down at him and say, 'Well, then which one are you?'
. . . And that's when the fight started .

HOORAH

   IS
HERE

DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN


Email: dernc@sover.net


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