HUMOR
WARNING!!!
Beware of cooking with bacon grease. You might end up looking
like this.
HISTORY LESSON
Do you know what happened back in 1850, in
California?
California
became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the
streets.
Basically, it was just like
California
today, except the women had real
boobs
and the men didn't hold hands.
WOULD YOU BELIEVE THIS ???....HOW COINCIDENTAL........
Many will recall that on
July 8, 1947,
witnesses claimed that an
unidentified object with five aliens
aboard crashed onto a sheep
and cattle ranch just outside
Roswell,
New
Mexico
This is a well-known incident that
many say has long been covered
up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly
nine months after that historic day,
Albert Arnold Gore,
Jr.,
Hillary Rodham,
John F. Kerry,
William
Jefferson Clinton,
Howard Dean,
Nancy Pelosi,
Dianne
Feinstein,
Charles E. Schumer,
and
Barbara
Boxer
were born.
See what happens when aliens breed
with sheep?
This piece of information may
clear up a lot of things.
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BILL & HILLARY
On a bright sunny day Bill and Hillary
were driving through
Arkansas
in their limo. They stopped to get gas
and when the gas station attendant
appeared, Hillary jumped out of the limo
and said
"Harry, Harry, Harry how have you been
all these years?"
She put her arms around him and gave him
a big, long hug. They chatted until the
tank was full and then Hillary got back
into the limo. Perplexed, Bill asked
what was that all about and Hillary said
"Harry was my High School sweetheart."
Bill grinned and said
"Well Hillary, if you had married him
instead of me you would be the wife of a
gas station attendant."
Hillary said,
"Bill, Bill, Bill you still don't get it
do you? If I had married Harry,
HE WOULD HAVE BEEN PRESIDENT"!!!
CAN YOU READ IT CORRECTLY?
The bandage was wound around the
wound.
The farm was used to produce produce.
The dump was so full that it had to
refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the lead
out.
The soldier decided to desert his
dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the
present, he thought it was time to
present the present .
A bass was painted on the head of the
bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into the
bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the
invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row
They were too close to the door to
close it.
The buck does funny things when the
does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down
into a sewer line.
To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind the
sail.
Upon
seeing the tear in the painting I shed
a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most
intimate friend?
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DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN |
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