Bear News Beartown News

APRIL 1, 2007



WARNING!!!  Beware of cooking with bacon grease.  You might end up looking like this.


Do you know what happened  back in 1850, in California?
California became a state.
The State had no electricity.
The State had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.
Basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real
boobs and the men didn't hold hands.


Many will recall that on
July 8, 1947, witnesses claimed that an unidentified object with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico
This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the U.S. Air Force and the federal government.
However, you may NOT know that in the month of March 1948, exactly nine months after that historic day, Albert Arnold Gore, Jr., Hillary Rodham, John F. Kerry, William Jefferson Clinton, Howard Dean, Nancy Pelosi, Dianne Feinstein, Charles E. Schumer, and Barbara Boxer were born.

See what happens when aliens breed with sheep?
This piece of
information may clear up a lot of things.



On a bright sunny day Bill and Hillary were driving through Arkansas in their limo.  They stopped to get gas and when the gas station attendant appeared, Hillary jumped out of the limo and said "Harry, Harry, Harry how have you been all these years?" She put her arms around him and gave him a big, long hug.  They chatted until the tank was full and then Hillary got back into the limo.  Perplexed, Bill asked what was that all about and Hillary said "Harry was my High School sweetheart."  Bill grinned and said "Well Hillary, if you had married him instead of me you would be the wife of a gas station attendant."  Hillary said, "Bill, Bill, Bill you still don't get it do you?  If I had married Harry, HE WOULD HAVE BEEN PRESIDENT"!!!


The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present .

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

 Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?



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