Bear News Beartown News

MARCH 1, 2009


An  Irishman, a  Mexican and a 
Blonde Guy were doing construction
work on scaffolding on the 20th 
floor of a building.
They were eating lunch and the 
Irishman said, 'Corned beef and
cabbage! If I get corned beef and 
cabbage one more time for lunch,
I'm going to jump off this 
The Mexican opened his lunch box 
and exclaimed, 'Burritos again!
If I get Burritos one more time 
I'm going to jump off, too.'
The blonde opened his lunch and 
said, 'Bologna again! If I get a
bologna sandwich one more time, 
I'm jumping too.'
The next day, the Irishman opened
his lunch box, saw corned beef and
cabbage, and jumped to his death.
The Mexican opened his lunch, saw 
a Burrito, and jumped, too.
The blonde guy opened his lunch, 
saw the bologna and jumped to his
death as well.
At the funeral, the Irishman's 
wife was weeping.  She said, 'If 
I'd known how really tired he 
was of corned beef and  cabbage, I
never would have given it to him 
The Mexican's wife also wept and 
said, 'I could have given him tacos 
or enchiladas! I didn't realize he 
hated Burritos so much.'
Everyone turned and stared at the 
blonde's wife. The blonde's wife 
said, 'Don't look at me. He makes 
his own lunch.' 


Gentle Thoughts for Today-- 
Birds of a feather flock together and crap on your car.   

A penny saved is a government oversight. 

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

The older you get, the tougher it is to lose weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good friends. 
  (How true!)

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. 
He who hesitates is probably right. 

Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for forty (40) are " XL." 

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody. 

If you can smile when things go wrong , you have someone in mind to blame. 

The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble. 

There's always a lot to be thankful for if you take time to look for it. For example I am sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don't hurt. 

Did you ever notice: When you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" together it spells "Theirs." 

Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. 

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for. 

Some people try to turn back their odometers. Not me, I want people to know "why" I look this way. I've traveled a long way and some of the roads weren't paved. 

Ah, being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. 

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull up your zipper. 
It's worse when you forget to pull it down. 

Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. 
Today, it's called golf 

Keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth...AMEN..!!



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