Bear News Beartown News

MARCH 1, 2007


Kentucky Bartender

A man walked into a bar in Louisville, Kentucky and ordered a drink. While he was sitting at the bar watching T.V., one of Hillary Clinton's political ads came on. After it went off, he stood up and announced to everyone, "Hillary is a horse's ass!"
 The bartender reached under the bar and brought out an oak club about 18 inches long and hit the man square across the head, knocking him off his stool and onto the floor.
 After a minute or two, the man got up, straightened himself up and said to the bartender, "I'm sorry. I didn't know this was Hillary country."
 "It's not!" replied the bartender. "This is horse country".


I don't know whether or not you watched the memorial service
for Ronald Reagan, BUT..... if you did, you probably noticed
that Bill and Hillary were both dozing off.

President Ronald Reagan,
who never missed a chance for a good one-liner,
raised his head out of his casket and said.....

"I see the Clintons are finally sleeping together."


Laura Bush bought George a parrot for his birthday.
She told Dick Cheney, "The bird is so smart! George has already taught him over 200 words!"
"Wow, that's pretty impressive", Cheney said, "but you realize that he just says the words. He doesn't really understand what they mean."
"That's OK", Laura replied. "Neither does the parrot."


Boudreaux been fish'n down by de bayou all day an he done run outta nightcrawlers. He be bout reddy to leave when he seen a snake wit a big frog in his mouf.
He knowed dat dem big bass fish like frogs, so he decides to steal dat froggie.
Dat snake, he be a cotton moufed water moccasin, so Boudreaux had to be real careful or he'd get bit.
He snuk up behine de snake and grabbed him roun de haid. Dat ole snake din't lak dat one bit. He squirmed and wrapped hisself roun Boudreaux's arm try'n to get hisself free. But Boudreaux, him, hada real good grip on his haid, yeh. Well, Boudreaux pried his mouf open and got de frog and puts it in his bait can.
Now, Boudreaux knows dat he cain't let go dat snake or he's gonna bite him good, but he had a plan.
He reach into de back pocket of his bib overhauls and pulls out a pint a Louisiana hillbilly moonshine likker. He pour some drops into de snakes mouf. Well, dat snake's eyeballs roll back in his haid and his body go limp.
Wit dat, Boudreaux toss dat snake into de bayou, den he goes back to fish'n.
A while later Boudreaux dun feel sumpin tappin' on his barefoot toe.  He slowly look down and dere be dat cotton moufed water moccasin, wif two more frogs.



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