Bear News Beartown News

DECEMBER 1, 2007

HUMOR
RODHAM
SPIN DOCTORS AT WORK

Judy Wallman, a professional genealogical researcher, discovered that Hillary Clinton's great-great uncle, Remus Rodham, was hanged for horse stealing and train robbery in Montana in 1889.
 The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows. On the back of the picture is this inscription: 'Remus Rodham; horse thief, sent to Montana Territorial Prison 1885, escaped 1887, robbed the Montana Flyer six times. Caught by Pinkerton detectives, convicted and hanged in 1889.'
 Judy e-mailed Hillary Clinton for comments. Hillary's staff of professional image adjusters sent back the following biographical sketch: 
 'Remus Rodham was a famous cowboy in the Montana Territory . His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian assets and intimate dealings with the Montana railroad. Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to service at a government facility, finally taking leave to re sume his dealings with the railroad. In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the renowned Pinkerton Detective Agency. In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his honor when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed.'
And THAT is how it's done folks! - GET READY!

MONEY

The only thing tainted about money is....... It taint mine and it taint enough!!!


 

DRINKING

I just read an article on the dangers of drinking....
Scared the hell out of me.
So that's it!
After today, no more  reading.


MARRIAGE

A married couple in their early 60s were out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant.
Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table saying,
'For being such an exemplary married couple & being faithful to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.'
'Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband',  said the wife.
The fairy waved her magic wand - poof!  - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands.
Then it was the husband's turn.  He thought for a moment saying:
'Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.  I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.'
The wife & the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
So the fairy waved her magic wand - poof!  - the husband became 92 years old.
The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember that fairies are female.

DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN


Email: dernc@sover.net


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