WHAT IS A GRANDPARENT?
(taken from papers written by a class of 8-year-olds)
Grandparents are a lady and a man who have no little
children of her own. They like other people's.
A grandfather is a man grandmother.
Grandparents don't have to do anything except be there
when we come to see them. They are so old they shouldn't
play hard or run. It is good if they drive us to the store
and have lots of quarters for us.
When they take us for walks, they slow down past things
like pretty leaves and caterpillars.
They show us and talk to us about the color of the flowers
and also Why we shouldn't step on "cracks."
They don't say, "Hurry up."
Usually grandmothers are fat, but not too fat to tie your
They wear glasses and funny underwear.
They can take their teeth and gums out.
Grandparents don't have to be smart.
They have to answer questions like "why isn't God
married?" and "How come dogs chase cats?".
When they read to us, they don't skip. They don't mind if
we ask for the same story over again.
Everybody should try to have a grandmother, especially if
you don't have television, because they are the only grown
ups who like to spend time with us.
They know we should have snack-time before bedtime and
they say prayers with us every time, and kiss us even when
we've acted bad.
A 6 YEAR OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED.
''OH,'' HE SAID, ''SHE
LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER WE JUST GO GET
HER. THEN WHEN WE'RE DONE HAVING HER VISIT, WE TAKE HER
BACK TO THE AIRPORT.''
It's funny when they bend over, you hear gas
leaks and they blame their dog."
How To Avoid The FLU
Make sure you get your daily
fruits and veggies.
Take your vitamins and bump up
your vitamin C.
Get plenty of exercise because
exercise helps build your
Walk for at least an hour a
Go for a swim
Take the stairs instead of the
Wash your hands often.
If you can't wash them,
keep a bottle of antibacterial
Get lots of fresh air.
Open doors & windows whenever
Try to eliminate as much
from your life as you can.
Get plenty of rest.
Take the doctor's approach.
Think about it...
When you go for a shot,
what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Gin...(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary...(veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar
patio.. .(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh...(eliminate
Then pass out...(rest)
The way I see it....
If you keep
your alcohol levels up,
flu germs can't
My American grandmother always
"A shot in the
is better than one in the
Live Well -
Laugh Often - Love Lots
Two nicely dressed ladies happened to
start up a conversation during an endless
wait in the LAX airport.
The first lady was an arrogant California
woman married to a wealthy man.
The second was a well mannered elderly
woman from the South.
When the conversation centered on whether
they had any children, the California
woman started by saying
"When my first child
was born, my husband built a beautiful
mansion for me." The lady from the
isn't that precious?
The first woman continued,
"When my second
child was born, my husband bought me a
beautiful Mercedes-Benz." Again,
the lady from the South commented,
"Well, isn't that
The first woman continued boasting,
"Then, when my third
child was born, my husband bought me this
exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet
again, the Southern lady commented,
"Well, isn't that
The first woman then asked her companion,
"What did your
husband buy for you when you had your
"My husband sent me
to charm school," declared the
School?" the first woman cried,
"Oh my God! What on
The Southern lady responded,
"Well for one thing,
instead of saying
"Who gives a damn?"
I learned to say,
"Well, isn't that