Bear News Beartown News

NOVEMBER 1, 2005



At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 10-year-old football players aside and asked, "Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?"
The little boy nodded in the affirmative.
"Do you understand that what matters is not whether we win or lose, but how we play together as a team?"
The little boy nodded yes.
"So," the coach continued, "I'm sure you know, when a penalty is called you shouldn't argue, curse, attack the referee, or call him a
pecker-head. Do you understand all that?"

Again the little boy nodded
The coach continued,
"And you understand that when I call you off the field so that another boy gets a chance to play, it's not good sportsmanship to call your coach "a dumb ass", is it?''
Again the little boy nodded.
"Good," said the coach. "Now go over there and explain all that to your mother."



A guy walks into a bar, sits down, and  asks, "Bartender, got any specials today?"
Bartender  answers,
"Yes, as a matter of fact we have a new drink invented by  a
gynecologist  patron of ours. It's a mix of Pabst Blue Ribbon Beer and
Smirnoff Vodka."

The guy asks,
"Good grief, what do you  call that?"
The bartender replied,
"It's a "Pabst  Smir."


The government has announced that it is changing its emblem from an EAGLE to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
Damn, it just doesn't get more accurate than that!


The hurricane only hit black families' property.
New Orleans was devastated and no other city was affected by the hurricane.
Mississippi is reported to have a tree blown down.
New Orleans has no white people.
The hurricane blew a limb off a tree in the yard of an Alabama resident.
When you are hungry after a hurricane, steal a big screen TV.
The hurricane did 23 billion dollars in improvements to New Orleans. 
The looters, gang and welfare recipients are out of New Orleans and now they are in your city.
White folks don't make good news stories.
Don't give thanks to the thousands that came to help rescue you, instead bitch because the government hasn't given you a debit card

Only black family members got separated in the hurricane rescue efforts.
Ignore warnings to evacuate and the white folks will come get you and give you money for being stupid!



Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by