Bear News Beartown News

OCTOBER 1, 2007


A man and his wife were arguing about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first and then we won't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
"No, that's not my job. You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job. I can just wait for my coffee."
"No, you should do it. It says so in the Bible."
"I can't believe that. Show me."
"Right here! See? It says, 'Hebrews!'"

Bubba and Billy Bob

While Bubba and Billy Bob were in the local Wal-Mart, they decided to get in on the weekly charity raffle.
They bought five tickets each at a dollar a pop. The following week when the raffle was drawn, each had won a prize.
Billy Bob won first place, which was a year's supply of gourmet spaghetti sauce and extra long spaghetti.
Bubba won sixth prize, which was a toilet brush.
About a week or so had passed when the men met back at Wal-Mart. Bubba asked Billy Bob how he liked his prize, to which Billy Bob replied, "Great! I love spaghetti!"
Billy Bob asked Bubba, "How 'bout you? How's the toilet brush? "Not so good," replied Bubba. "I reckon I'm gonna switch back to paper."

Yearly Physical

When I went to the doctor for my yearly physical, my blood pressure was high, my cholesterol was high, I'd gained some weight and I didn't feel so hot.
My doctor said that eating right doesn't have to be complicated and it would solve my physical problems.
He said, "Just think in colors. Fill your plate with bright colors of greens, yellows, reds, etc."
So, I went right home and emptied an entire bag of
M&Ms onto a plate, ate them and sure enough, I felt better!




A young Italian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, "Just for fun Ma, I'm going to bring over three women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."
His mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. He then says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."
She immediately replies, "The one on the right."
"That's amazing Ma! You're right! How did you know!?"
The mother replies, "I don't like her."


      Two Jewish friends were conversing about problems with their respective teenage sons:
One lets the other know that he is upset with his son because his son converted and became a Christian. He asked his friend for advice.
His friend said,
“Funny you should bring that up, because my son also has converted and become a Christian. I am upset and do not know how to handle it either.”
They both agreed to turn to God to ask for HIS advice and guidance.
So separately they prayed to God:
“God, please give me advice; what do I do. I am a good Jew and my son has converted and become a Christian.”
God replied,
“Funny you should bring that up, because my son also …..”




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