Bear News Beartown News

OCTOBER 1, 2006

HUMOR

RETIRING?

OLD ACCOUNTANTS never die, they just lose their balance.
OLD ACTORS never die, they just drop a part.
OLD ACTUARIES never die, they just get broken down by age and sex.
OLD ALCOHOLICS never die, they just lose their spirit.
OLD ARCHERS never die, they just bow and quiver.
OLD ARCHITECTS never die, they just lose their structures.
OLD ARTISTS never die, they just get the brush-off.
OLD BALLOONISTS never die, they just get higher and higher.
OLD BANKERS never die, they just lose interest.
OLD BASEBALLS never die, they just get pitched.
OLD BASKETBALL players never die, they just go on dribbling.
OLD BEEKEEPERS never die, they just buzz off.
OLD BINGO PLAYERS never die, they just wait until their number comes up.
OLD BLASTING TECHNICIANS never die, they just lose their spark.
OLD BLONDES never fade, they just dye away.
OLD BOOKKEEPERS never die, they just lose their figures.
OLD BOOTLEGGERS never die, they just keep still.
OLD BOTANISTS never die, they just wither away.
OLD BOTANISTS never die, they just go to seed.
OLD BOWLERS never die, they just end up in the gutter.
OLD BREADMEN never die, they just lose their dough.
OLD BRICKLAYERS never die, they just throw in the trowel.
OLD BURGLARS never die, they just steal away.
OLD CARDIAC SURGEONS never die, they just get bypassed.
OLD CARTOONISTS never die, they just go into a state of suspended animation.
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just check out.
OLD CASHIERS never die, they just get distilled.
OLD CHAUFFEURS never die, they just lose their drive.
OLD CHICKENS never die, they just get fried.
OLD CHINESE COOKS never die, they just wok away.
OLD CLEANING PEOPLE never die, they just kick the bucket.
OLD CLOTHIERS never die, they just lose their shirts.
OLD COMPUTER USERS never die, they just lose their memory.
OLD COOKS never die, they just get deranged.
OLD COUPON CLIPPERS never die, they just expire.
OLD COWBOYS never die, they are just deranged.
OLD COWS never die, they just kick the bucket.
OLD DAIRYMEN never die, they just get butter and butter.
OLD DAREDEVILS never die, they just get discouraged.
OLD DEANS never die, they just lose their faculties.
OLD DENTISTS never die, they just get down in the mouth.
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just go to the hospital.
OLD DOCTORS never die, they just lose their patience.
OLD DOUGHBOYS never die, they just get rolled out.
OLD DRIVING INSTRUCTORS never die, they just come to a full stop.
 

OLD EDITORS never die, they just rewrite the text.
OLD EGYPTIAN TOURISTS never die, - they just go senile.
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just can't make connections.
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just lose contact.
OLD ELECTRICIANS never die, they just revolt.
OLD ENGINEERS never die, they just lose their bearings.
OLD ENUMERATORS never die, they just lose their census.
OLD EXTERMINATORS never die, they just bug out.
OLD FARMERS never die, they just go to seed.
OLD FIREFIGHTERS never die, they just go to blazes.
OLD FISHERMEN never die, they just smell that way.
OLD FORGERS never die, they just leave no trace.
OLD FROGS never die, but they do croak.
OLD FULLBACKS never die, they just kick off.
OLD GARDENERS never die, they just spade away.
OLD GARDENERS never die, they just push up daisies.
OLD GEOMETRY TEACHERS never die, they just go off on a tangent.
OLD GLASS never dies, it just gets smashed.
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just lose their balls.
OLD GOLFERS never die, they just putter away.
OLD GOSSIPS never die, they just lose their confidants.
OLD GOVERNMENT EMPLOYEES never die, they just work as if they had.
OLD GRUNGE ROCKERS never die, they just cut their hair, and nobody recognizes them.
OLD GUNS never die, they just get loaded.
OLD HAIR DRESSERS never fade, they just curl up and dye.
OLD HIKERS never die, they just get the boot.
OLD HIPPIES never die, they just smell that way.
OLD HOOKERS never die, they just get laid off.
OLD HUMAN CANNONBALLS never die, they just get fired.
OLD HUNTERS never die, they just stay loaded.
OLD HYPOCHONDRIACS never die, they just lose their grippe.
OLD INVESTORS never die, they just roll over.
OLD JANITORS never die, they just get swept up.
OLD JOURNALISTS never die, they just get de-pressed.
OLD KEY PUNCH OPERATORS never die, they just punch out.
OLD KINGS never die, they just get throne away.
OLD KLEPTOMANIACS never die, they just can't help themselves.
OLD LANDSCAPERS never die, they just get weeded out.
OLD LAWN CARE WORKERS never die, they just recede.
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just loose their briefs.
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their appeal.
OLD LAWYERS never die, they just lose their judgment.
OLD LEPERS never die, they just fall apart.
OLD LIBRARIANS never die, they just close the book.
OLD LIMBO DANCERS never die, they just go under.
OLD MAGICIANS never die, they just disappear.
OLD MATHEMATICIANS never die, they just disintegrate.
OLD MECHANICS never die, they just get well lubricated.
OLD MECHANICS never die, they just retire.
OLD MILKMAIDS never die, they just lose their whey.
.............MORE NEXT MONTH...............

DID SOMEBODY SAY
BEARTOWN


Email: dernc@sover.net


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