Bear News Beartown News

JANUARY 1, 2010


What has four legs and sees just as well from both ends?
A horse with his eyes closed.

Will the cat nip?
No but pig sWill!

What's the difference between a storm cloud and the man sitting on a hedgehog?
One pours with rain. The other roars with pain.

What happened when a pussy swallowed a penny?
There was money in the kitty?

What was the tortoise doing on the freeway?
About three yards and hour.

Did you hear about the messy horse?
Yes, he had dreadful stable manners.

What's the difference between a unicorn and a lettuce?
One is a funny beast and the other is a bunny feast.

What do frogs drink?
Croaka Cola.

What do frogs order in restaurants?
French Flies.

What's the difference between a coyote and a flea?
One howls on the prairie and the other prowls on the hairy.

Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied her.

What do you do with a blue whale?
Try to cheer him up.

Which royal is very aware of environment hazards?
Prince of Whales.

Who went into the tiger's lair and came out alive?
The tiger.

What is the longest insect in the world?
A centipede. His body covers a hundred feet.

What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus?
A farmer's dream - it milks itself.

What's the best way to catch a rabbit?
Hide in the bushes and make a noise like lettuce.

What do cats put in their cocktails?
Mice cubes.

What's the difference between a kangaroo, a lumberjack and a bag of peanuts?
A kangaroo hops and chews and a lumberjack chops and hews.
Yes, but what's the bag of peanuts for?
For monkeys like you, dear.

How do fleas travel from place to place?
By itch hiking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?
An oxident.



Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by