HUMOR
PROFESSIONAL QUIZ
The
following short quiz consisits of four questions and tell
you whether you are truly a "professional". The
questions are not that difficult.
1. How do
you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Correct answer:
Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe in and close the
door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple
things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put
an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong answer: Open
the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the door.
Correct answer: Open the refigerator, take out the
giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This
tests your ability to think through the repercussions of
your actions.
3. The Lion King is
hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend
except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct answer: The
elephant. The elephant is in the refigerator. This tests
your memory. Even if you did not answer the first three
questions correctly, you still have one more chance to
show your abilities.
4. There is a river
you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do
you get across?
Correct answer: You
swim across. All the crocodiles are attending the Animal
Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your
mistakes.
According
to Beartown Consulting Worldwide, about 90% of the
Professionals they tested got all questions wrong. But
many preschoolers got several correct answers. Beartown
Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory
that most Professionals have the brains of a four-year
old.
Adam
and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear
about all the men she could have married, and she didn't
have to hear about the way his mother cooked.
A
college graduate arrived for the first day of work at his
first job. The owner handed him a broom and said "Sweep
the floor"
"I don't know about this." said the grad.
"Here
I'll show you how." said the owner.
DID
SOMEBODY SAY BEARTOWN
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F
B I
The phone
rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?"
"I'm calling
to report my neighbor Horace Bending. He is hiding
marijuana inside his firewood."
"Thank you
very much for the call, sir."
The next day, FBI agents descend on Bending's house. They
search the shed where the firewood is kept. Using axes,
they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana.
They swear at Bending and leave.
The phone rings at
Bending's house. "Hey, Horace, did the FBI come?"
"Yeah!"
"Did they split your firewood?"
"Yep."
"Great, now don't you forget to call them in
April when I need my garden plowed."
Archibald,
a Beartown farmer, had a nagging wife who made his life
miserable. One day when he was out cutting wood, his wife
brought lunch to him.
Then she stayed
while he quietly ate and berated him with a constant
stream of nagging and complaining. Suddenly, Archibald's
old horse kicked up his hind legs, striking the wife in
the head, and killing her instantly.
At the wake, Archibald's minister noticed that when the
women offered their sympathy to Archibald he would nod
his head up and down, but when the men came up and spoke
quietly to him, he would shake his head from side to side.
When the wake was over and all the mourners had left, the
minister approached Archibald and asked, "Why was it
that you nodded your head up and down to all the women
and shook your head from side to side to all the men?"
"Well," Archibald replied, "The women all
said how nice she lookjed, and her dress was so pretty,
so I agreed by nodding my head up and down. The men all
asked, "Is
that horse for sale?"
The Boardmans were
surprised at the nativity scenes the saw on their
Christmas trip to Florida. The three wise men
were always dressed with a fireman's helmet and
rubber coat. When asking a local resident why
this was done, they were told, "Well the
bible says the wise men had come from "A FAR".
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