Bear News Beartown News
SEPTEMBER 1, 2006

THE COUNTRY CORNER

MONTANA

This was ACTUALLY proposed to the Montana Wool and Sheep Grower's Association by the Sierra Club and the United States Forest Service.
It's hard to argue with this cowboy's logic.
A few years ago, the
Sierra Club and the US Forest Service were presenting an alternative to Montana ranchers for controlling the coyote population.
It seems that after years of the ranchers using the tried and true methods of shooting and/or trapping the predator, the tree-huggers had a "more humane" solution.
What the
Sierra Club proposed was for the animals to be captured alive, the males castrated and let loose again, and the population would be controlled. All of the ranchers mulled over this 'amazing' idea for a couple of minutes.
Finally, an old boy in the back stood up, tipped his hat back, and said,

"Son, I don't think you understand the problem. Those coyotes ain't breedin' our sheep - they're eatin' 'em"


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IRAQ

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
"Tony, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen.
She was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't Break. And, then she parachuted right in the middle of 20 enemy troops.
She shot 15 of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife until the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare
hands."

"Good Heavens" said the horrified teacher.
"What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from this horrible story?"
"Stay away from Aunt Karen when she's drinking."


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USA

IMMIGRATION

Forty-three percent of all Americans say that immigration is a serious problem.
The other 57 percent said, "No hablo inglÚs"


POLAND

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters:
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."


TEXAS

A man owned a small ranch in Texas. The Wage & Hour Dept. claimed he was not paying proper  wages to his help. They sent an agent out to interview & investigate the accusations. Upon arrival at the ranch agents demanded, "We need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," The rancher replied, "There's my ranch hand whose been with me for 3 years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board." The cook has been here for 18 months, "I pay her $500 per week plus free room and board".
Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes $10 per week, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night."
That's the guy I want to talk to - the half-wit," says the agent.
That would be me," replied the rancher.

Email: dernc@sover.net


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