SEPTEMBER 1, 2000
THE COUNTRY CORNER
never did hang the wrong one but once or twice,"
said one judge. "And them fellers needed to be hung
anyhow jes' on general principles."
are many in this old world of ours who hold that things
break about even for all of us. I have observed, for
example, that we all get about the same amount of ice.
The rich get it in the summer time and the poor get it in
the winter time."
sometimes sleep, but never die."
JUST AN AVERAGE DAY
In one western town on just a single day they had two street fights, hung a man,rode three men out of town on a rail, got up a quarter race, a turkey shoot,a gander pulling, a dog fight,and preaching by a circuit rider who afterwards ran a foot race for apple jack all around. And if this was not enough, the judge of the court, after losing his year's salary at single-handed poker and whipping a person who he said did not understand the game, went out and helped lynch his grandfather for hog stealing.
DODGE CITY WHISKEY
The run-of-the-bar whiskey in Dodge City was terrible stuff. The price was ten cents a glass and the drinker poured. It was an insult not to fill the glass full, or to order something weaker than whiskey. Two or three glasses of this rot-gut was enough to make a man steal his own blankets.
In the early days of the West, cattle brands were frequently altered by cattle thieves. One cowboy, branded his cattle "B4". When he went to round up his cattle, they were all marked "B4U", and claimed by a nearby spread. The cowboy got even by branding every cow on the range "B4U2".
the Bawhston Tea Potty, the Waw of Independence stotted
and Ameriker was bawn."
the storekeeper, purchased a tub of freshly butter from
Mrs. Quinn, who owned three cows. He weighed it carefully,
and then turned to the woman, his face grim.
potatoes! that, from Antrim's shore
ARMED FOR PEACE
an argument (the reason for which has long been forgotten)
broke out between the Earl of Ormonde and the Earl of
Kildare inside St. Patrick's Cathedral. Faced with
superior numbers, the Earl of Ormond and his men
retreated to the Dublin cathedral's nearby chapter house,
a small building where the church's clergy met to talk
after morning mass. Once safetly inside, Ormond had the
thick oaken door slammed shut.
The incident led to the often-used English phrase "chancing one's arm" meaning "to take a chance on the unknown." By the way, the axe-hole can still be seen in the door.
American art collector came across a newly discovered Old
Master in Italy and secretly bought it. Knowing that the
Italian government would not allow a picture of this
value to be taken out of the country, he thought up an
ingenious way of smuggling it out. He hired a novice
Italian painter to painta modern landscape over the old
Master, knowing that this could be removed by a new
process when the canvas arrived in New York. The plan
worked successfully, and the collector took the painting
to a well-known restorer to have the superimposed
painting removed. A week later he received the following
note from the restorer:
woman was taking her first trip to Italy. She was
delighted with everything aboard the ship except that, in
the dining salon, she was seated at a table with women
only. On the second day out, meeting the captain, she
murmered, "Everything about your ship is lovely,
except that I'm at a table with nothing but women. Would
it be possible to put me at a table with some nice
many cheeses besides the well known Parmesan, Romano, and Provolone.
cheeses are: Caciocavallo,
Provoletti, Panedda, Pera di vacca, Casigiolu, Moliterno,
Provole, Provatura, Scamorze, Mozzarella, Manteca, and
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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