Bear News Beartown News
AUGUST 1, 2006

THE COUNTRY CORNER

MEXICO

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock. Canada-is sending troops to help the Mexican army control the riots.  Saudi Arabia is sending oil.  All Other Latin American countries are sending supplies. The European community (except for France) is sending food and money. The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.

  God Bless America!



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FRANCE


Deer Hunting

Ted Nugent was recently being interviewed by a French journalist. The journalist asked, "What do you think the last thought is in the head of a deer before you shoot it? Is it, "Are you my friend?` or is it "Are you the one who killed my brother?'"
Nugent replied,
"They aren't capable of that kind of thinking. All they care about is, "What am I going to eat next, where is my next doe, and can I run fast enough to get away. They are very much like the French in that way."


IRAQ

THE CONSTITUTION
 

They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.


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USA


HITS OF THE 60'S

It was fun being a baby boomer - (until now). Some of the songsters of the '60s are revising their hits with new lyrics to
 accommodate, once again, us, the baby boomers. They include:
Herman's Hermits -- Mrs. Brown, You've Got a Lovely Walker
The Bee Gees -- How Can You Mend a Broken Hip
Bobby Darin -- Splish, Splash, I Was Havin' a Flash
Ringo Starr -- I Get By With a Little Help From Depends
Roberta Flack --The First Time Ever I Forgot Your Face
Johnny Nash -- I Can't See Clearly Now
Paul Simon -- Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver
The Commodores -- Once, Twice, Three Times to the
 Bathroom

Marvin Gaye -- Heard It Through the Grape Nuts
Leo Sayer -- You Make Me Feel Like Napping
The Temptations -- Papa's Got a Kidney Stone
Abba -- Denture Queen
Tony Orlando -- Knock 3 Times On The Ceiling If You Hear Me Fall
Helen Reddy -- I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore
Willie Nelson -- On the Commode Again


COWS

Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she sleeps in the state of Washington and they tracked her
calves to their stalls?  But they are unable to locate 11 million
illegal aliens  wandering around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow?

Email: dernc@sover.net


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