Bear News Beartown News
AUGUST 1, 2005

THE COUNTRY CORNER

KENTUCKY

FRANKFORT, Ky. - That smiling sun on Kentucky's license plates was just a bit too cheerful for most drivers: Now Mr. Smiley's headed for the recycling bin. The sunshine plates were met with ridicule when then-Gov. Paul Patton unveiled the design in December 2002. Gov. Ernie Fletcher is scheduled to announce the change at a news conference Tuesday.
Some drivers drew a mustache on the smiling sun's image or covered it up with a frowning-face sticker or duct tape. Others even paid extra money not to have Mr. Smiley greet other drivers with his motto,
"Kentucky: It's that friendly."
The backlash brought a surge in sales of specialty plates.
"A lot of people found them to be so obnoxious they wouldn't put them on their cars," Fayette County Clerk Don Blevins said.
Despite the criticisms, the smiling sun won the Automobile License Plate Collectors Association 2003 award for best license plate, beating Maine's lobster by one vote.
The Mr. Smiley plates will not completely vanish until all cars receive the "Unbridled Spirit" tags beginning Jan. 1. The new plates will have a small outline of Kentucky in the center.
Mr. Smiley even irritated some state legislators, who proposed several bills over the past two years to change the plates.
"I think it's a fortunate situation that Mr. Smiley will disappear," said Republican state Sen. Tom Buford, who sponsored some of those bills. "The state was not served well with an odd plate like that."
 

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IRISHMAN, ENGLISHMAN, & ALABAMA REDNECK

An Irishman in a wheel chair entered a restaurant near afternoon and asked the waitress for a cup of coffee. The  Irishman looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus sitting over there?"
The waitress nodded "yes," so the Irishman told her to give Jesus a cup of coffee on him.
The next patron to come in was an Englishman with a hunched back. He shuffled over to a booth, painfully sat down, and asked the waitress for a cup of hot tea. He also glanced across the restaurant and asked, "Is that Jesus over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Englishman said to give Jesus a cup of hot tea, my treat.
The third patron to come into the restaurant was an Alabama Redneck on crutches. He hobbled over to a booth, sat down and hollered, "Hey there, sweet thang, how's about gettin' me a cold glass of Coke!" He, too, looked across the restaurant and asked, "Is that God's boy over there?"
The waitress nodded, so the Redneck said to give Jesus a cold glass of coke, on my bill.
As Jesus got up to leave, he passed by the Irishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Irishman felt the strength come back into his legs, got up, and danced a jig out the door.
Jesus also passed by the Englishman, touched him and said, "For your kindness, you are healed." The Englishman  felt his back straightening up, and he raised up his hands, praised the Lord and did a series of back flips out the door.
Then Jesus walked towards the Alabama Redneck. The Redneck jumped up and yelled, "Don't touch me... I'm drawin' disability!!!!!"

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CALIFORNIA
in 1850

1. California became a state.
2. The state had no electricity.
3. The state had no money.
4. Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
5..There were gun fights in the street.
So, basically, it was just like California today, except the women had real breasts.


ALABAMA

Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough. After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her and says, "Kin ya swallar?" The woman shakes her head no. "Kin ya breathe?" The woman begins to turn blue and shakes her head no. The hillbilly walks over to the woman, lifts up the back of her dress, yanks down her drawers and quickly gives her right butt cheek a lick with his tongue. The woman is so shocked that she has a violent spasm and the obstruction flies out of her mouth. As she begins to breathe again, the hillbilly walks slowly back to his table. His partner says, "Ya know, I'd heard of that there 'Hind Lick Maneuver', but I ain't never seen nobody do it."

Email: dernc@sover.net


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