YOU MAY BE A FARMER IF
- You know you should listen
to the weather forecast before
picking out an outfit.
- Your
excuse for getting out of school
is that the cows got out.
- You know cow pies aren't
made of beef.
- Your
early morning prayer covers rain,
cattle, and pigs.
- You consider a romantic
evening driving through Hardees
and renting a hunting
instructional video.
- You
listen to "Paul Harvey" every day
at noon.
- You can tell it's a farmer
working late in his field, know
who it is, what they're doing, and
not think it's a UFO.
- Your
nearest neighbor is in the next
section, and you know what a
section is.
- You know the difference
between field corn and sweet corn
when they are still on the stalk.
- You
actually understand the
geographical necessity of
correction lines.
- Your other vehicle is a
Massey Ferguson.
- You
have enough ball caps to match
every shirt you own, but you only
wear one so you don't get the
others dirty.
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- You are related
to more than half the town.
- You can tell the difference between a
horse and a cow from a distance.
- Your car breaks
down outside of town and news of it gets back
to town before you do.
- Without thinking, you wave to all
oncoming traffic.
- You don't buy all
your vegetables at the grocery store.
- You don't put too much effort into
hairstyles due to wind and weather.
- There's a tornado
warning and the whole town is outside watching
for it.
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- You go to the
State Fair for your family vacation.
- You get up at 5:30 am and go down to
the coffee shop.
- You have the
number of the Co-op on speed dial.
- All your radio-preset buttons are
country.
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- You try to find the
cheapest room rates when going out
of town.
Using the elevator involves
a grain truck.
You know you should listen
to the weather forecast before
picking out an outfit.
Your excuse for getting out
of school is that the cows got
out.
You know cow pies aren't
made of beef.
You wake up when it's dark
and go to bed when it's still
light.
Your nearest neighbor is in
the next area code.
You know the code names for
everyone on the CB.
You can eat an ear of corn
with no utensils in under 20
seconds.
You wear your boots to
church.
BEARTOWN BEARS
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