Bear News Beartown News
JULY 1, 2007



Being a Texan can mean many things. The state is big enough and so diverse that there's little chance any native Texans share a common background. Natives of West Texas may have seen tornados, dust storms, and flatland in all directions, but few have ever seen the ocean or more than five trees from the same place.  Houston kids may know how to surf and what to do on a tennis court. One of the few things Texans have in common is belonging to the Future Farmers of America.

The latest telephone poll taken by the office of the Governor of Texas asked whether people who live in Texas think illegal immigration is a serious problem:
A) 35% of respondents answered: "Yes, it is a serious problem."
B) 65% of respondents answered: "No es una problema serio."

Enchanted Rock north of Fredericksburg

The largest chunk of granite in the Southwest. A great place for imagining yourself as a primitive man or serious rock climbing. Many weird wind sounds are heard on windy days. More strange are the hang-gliders or rock splatters who think they are birds.


The Turkey and the Bull

A turkey was chatting with a bull.
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey, But I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on my droppings?” replied the bull. “They’re Packed with nutrients.” The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough Strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, there he was proudly Perched at the top of the tree.
Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.



A foreign carpenter is working with his circular saw while up on a ladder.
He slips and falls and cuts off his ear on the way down.
The foreign carpenter calls out to his friend for help.
"Stash! Stash'" says the Foreign carpenter to his helper.
"I cut my ear off with the saw! Help me find it!"
Stash finds the ear, picks it up and shows it to the Foreign Carpenter and says: "Is this it?"
Foreign Carpenter replies: "NO, stupid! Mine had a PENCIL on it!"


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Town Clerk Annette Cappy.


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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