Bubba and Junior were
standing at the base of a flagpole, looking
up. A woman walked by and asked what they
"We're supposed to find the height of the
Bubba, "but we
don't have a ladder."
The woman took a
wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts,
and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape
measure from her pocket, took a measurement,
"Eighteen feet, six
walked away. Junior shook his head and
just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the
height, and she gives us the length!"
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U S BORDER
Pedro was trying to get into the U.S. legally through
The officer said "Pedro, you have
passed all the tests, except
there is one more test. Unless you pass it, you cannot enter
Pedro said, "I am ready."
The officer said, "Make a sentence
using the words yellow, pink
Pedro thought for a few minutes and said
"Mister Officer, I am ready."
The officer said "Go ahead."
Pedro said "The telephone goes
green, green, green, and I pink it up and say Yellow, thees
Needless to say, Pedro now lives in
a neighborhood near you.
ON A DESERT ISLAND
On a chain of beautiful deserted
islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded:
2 Italian men & 1 Italian woman.
2 French men & 1 French woman.
2 German men & 1 German woman.
2 Greek men & 1 Greek woman.
2 British men & 1 British woman.
2 Bulgarian men & 1 Bulgarian woman.
2 Japanese men & 1 Japanese woman.
2 Irish men & 1 Irish woman.
2 American men & 1 American woman.
One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the
middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred:
-One Italian man killed the other Italian
man for the Italian woman...
-The two French men and the French woman
are living happily together in a menage a trois.
-The two German men have a strict weekly
schedule of alternating visits with the German woman.
-The two Greek men are sleeping together
and the Greek woman is cooking and cleaning for them.
-The two British men are waiting for
someone to introduce them to the British woman.
-The two Bulgarian men took one look at the
Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island.
-The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are
-The two Irish men divided the island into
north and south and setup a distillery. They do not remember if sex is
in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters
of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English
aren't having any fun.
-The two American men are contemplating
suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains
relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the
sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the
necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores,
how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend
respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her
relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems,
and why didn't they bring a damn cell phone so they could call 911 and
get them all rescued off this Godforsaken deserted island in the
middle of freaking nowhere so she can get her nails done and go