JULY 1, 2000
THE COUNTRY CORNER
This is the transcript of the actual conversation of a US Naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October 1995. Radio conversation, released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.
Please divert your course 15 degrees to the South to
avoid a collision.
If a WOMAN
and two men were shipwrecked on a desert island for a
month, what would happen?
A German hippie is known as a FLOWER KRAUT.
A Chinese girl-watcher is a Peking Tom.
A lovesick Asian - Sentimental Oriental
THE IRISH IN COURT
judge once asked the occupant of a Dublin tenement how he
could possibly claim that he only threw his wife out of a
second-story window out of forgetfulness.
In a Limerick court at the end of the 1800s a judge dismissed the accused with the words, "You go from this court with no stain on your character other than that you have been acquitted by an Irish jury."
At Dublin Assizes, a man convicted of bigamy pleaded with the judge before the sentence. "My lord, I was only trying to get a good one."
famous and popular Irish judge Lord Morris once
interrupted in the examination of a doctor who had been
accused of administering a fatal dose of dope to a
racehorse. "Surely, doctor, a dozen grains of a
poison as strong as that would be enough to kill the
A great hero of the Irish bar was John Philpot Curran, who practised at the end of the eighteenth century. When a pompous prosecutor told him that he would put him in his pocket if he continued to provoke him, Curran replied "If you do that, you'll have more law in your pocket than you ever had in your head."
Mr. Justice Fitzgibbon, who later became Lord Chancellor, once dismissed Curran's argument with, "If that be the law, Mr. Curran, I may burn my law books." To which Curran retorted, "You had better read them first, my lord."
A man charged with assault in Carlow informred the court that he would not know whether to plead guilty or not guilty until after he had heard the evidence.
IN THE THIRD WORLD
had an ox and a mule that he hitched together to a plow.
One night after several days of continuous plowing, the
ox said to the mule "We've been working pretty hard;
let's play sick tomorrow and lie here in the stalls all
East is known for its many, small, short-lived airlines.
In Bagdad an American salesman bound for an out-of-the-way
desert spot was just getting setteled on a plane when the
pilot walked through the cabin and announced that he
would not fly the ship without an engine change. All the
passengers disembarked. An hour later they were again
told to get aboard. "Do you have another plane?"
the American asked the steward..
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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