Bear News Beartown News
JUNE 1, 2010



  • Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife
  • You convince your wife that an overnight, out of town trip for equipment parts is a vacation
  • You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations
  • You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
  • You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket
  • You have used baling twine to attach a license plate
  • You have used a chain saw to remodel your house
  • You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population, herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
  • You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a peace of equipment
  • You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops
  • You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway
  • You have buried a dog and cried like a baby
  • You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs
  • You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers, and peel apples.
  • You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
  • You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night.
  • You have used something other than paper as a toilet tissue.
  • You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
  • You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road numbers
  • Your wife agrees to observe Mothers' Day after the beans are planted
  • You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
  • Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
  • Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest
  • You've been stopped by the police for a cluttered dashboard
  • The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old T-shirts
  • You know checkoff is not a Russian diplomat
  • Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
  • You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.

  • You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
  • You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
  • You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way.
  • You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
  • It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
  • You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot.
  • The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
  • You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart.
  • Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away.


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