JUNE 1, 2004
THE COUNTRY CORNER
A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this traffic seems worse than
He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked "Officer, what's the hold-up?"
The officer relied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the worsening
deficit and economy, or that his tax cuts will help everyone except his wealthy friends. So we're taking up a collection for him."
The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"
The officer replied, "About four gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."
(continued from last month)
A great lesson in chivalry..... For
those of you old enough to remember
what chivalry was! A heartwarming
story of the advances of women in
achieving equality throughout the
world. Barbara Walters of 20/20 ABC
(USA) did a story on gender roles in
Kabul several years before the
Afghan conflict. She noted that
women customarily walked about ten
paces behind their husbands.
STILL MORE POLAND
Nicholas Copernicus, Frederic
Chopin, or Marie Curie
A Richardson, Texas policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem -- a 12 year old boy
was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD".
The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket full of money. (And we used to just sell lemonade!)
A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in Plano, Texas. A $40 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $40. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs.
A young woman was pulled over for speeding. As the TX State Trooper walked to her car window, flipping open his ticket book, she said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the Texas State Police Ball." He replied, "Texas State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence while she smiled and he realized what he'd just said. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. She was laughing too hard to start her car.
Your front yard is filled with lawn ornaments - e.g., pink
flamingos, Jockey, Mary in the half shell, etc.
You have relatives who are priests and nuns.
Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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