MINNESOTA
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TRAITS
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars
waiting to pass a tractor.
"Vacation" means going to Brainerd for
the weekend.
You measure distance in hours. You know
several people who
have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to
"a/c" in the same day.
You use a down comforter in the summer.
Your grandparents drive 65 mph through 3
feet of snow during a
blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting
clothes to social events.
You install security lights on your
house and garage and leave both
doors unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as
venison, walleye, and
Leinenkugels.
You carry jumper cables in your car and
your girlfriend knows how
to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the
parking lot at the grocery store at any given time.
You design your kids Halloween costume
to fit over a snow suit. Driving
is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with
snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks
and flannel p.j.'s.
You know all four seasons; almost
winter, winter, still winter
and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store
for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to
stop to talk to everyone in town.
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IRELAND
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The wise old Mother
Superior from county Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered
around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her
some warm milk to drink, but she refused it.
Then one nun took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a
bottle of Irish whiskey they had received as a gift the
previous Christmas, she opened and poured a generous amount
into the warm milk.
When she walked back to Mother Superior's bed, she held the
glass to her lips. Mother drank a little, then a little more.
Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the
last drop.
"Mother,"
the nuns asked in earnest,
"Please give us some wisdom before you die."
She raised herself up in bed with a pious look on her face and
said, "Don't sell that cow."
An Irishman ia a guy who:
Believes everything he can't see, and nothing he can.
Has such great respect for the truth, he only uses it in
emergencies.
Can lick any man in the house he is sole occupant of.
Believes salvation can be achieved by means of a weekly
envelope.
Is a very perverse, complex person. That's what make him
lovable. He banks heavily that God has a sense of humor.
3D Animated Flags
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LANGUAGE
The
bandage was wound around the wound.
The farm was used to produce
produce.
The
dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
We must polish the Polish furniture.
He could lead if he would get the
lead out.
The soldier decided to desert his
dessert in the desert.
Since there is no time like the
present, he thought it was time
to present the present.
At the Army base, a bass was
painted on the head of a bass drum.
When shot at, the dove dove into
the bushes.
I did not object to the object.
The insurance was invalid for the
invalid.
There was a row among the oarsmen
about how to row.
They were too close to the door to
close it.
The buck does funny things when
the does are present.
A seamstress and a sewer fell down
into a sewer.
To help with planting, the farmer
taught his sow to sow.
The wind was too strong to wind up the sail.
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After a number of Novocain injections, my jaw got
number.
Upon seeing the tear in the
painting I shed a tear.
I had to subject the subject to a
series of tests.
How can I intimate this to my most
intimate friend?
I spent last evening evening out a
pile of dirt.
If you have a rough cough,
climbing can be tough when
going through the bough on a tree!
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