Bear News Beartown News
MAY 1, 2007

THE COUNTRY CORNER

ARIZONA


IRELAND

The following was an actual advertisement in an Irish newspaper:
 Automobile for
Sale 1985 Blue Volkswagen - Golf.
Only 50 miles. Only first gear and reverse ever used.
Never driven hard. Original tires. Original brakes. Original fuel and oil
Only 1 driver. Owner wishing to sell due to employment lay-off
  Photo attached ---


TECH VALLEY


WEST VIRGINIA

The madam opened the brothel door and saw a rather dignified, well-dressed, good-looking man in his late forties or early fifties.
"May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied.
"Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else," said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie," he replied. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $5,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out  five thousand dollars and gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs.
After an hour, the man calmly left.
The next night, the same man appeared again, once more demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that no one had ever come back two nights  in a row -- too expensive -- and there were no discounts. The price was still $5,000.
Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left. The following night the man was there yet again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for a third consecutive night, but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs.
After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked.
The man replied, "West Virginia" "Really" she said. "I have family in West Virginia" "I know," the man said. "Your father died, and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $15,000 inheritance."
The moral of the story is that three things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Being screwed by a lawyer


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IDAHO

This is really politically incorrect; especially with the Imus situation, but... 
There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America Contest this year because no one wants to wear the banner that says, IDAHO.

AMERICAN DREAM

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy, "Will you marry me?" The guy said, "No," and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, drank martinis with friends, always had a clean house, never had to cook, had a closet full of shoes and handbags, stayed
skinny, and was never farted on in the middle of the night.
The End


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Email: dernc@sover.net


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by VTweb.com

Town Clerk Annette Cappy.

Email: dernc@sover.net


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by VTweb.com