Bear News Beartown News
MAY 1, 2000



Traveling on Indian Roads requires strict attention which is spelled out in these laws from an original Sanskrit text. (continued from last month)

ARTICLE V: All manuevers, use of horn and evasive action shall be left until the last possible moment.

ARTICLE VI: In the absence of seat belts (which there is), car occupants shall wear garlands of marigolds. These shall remain fastened at all times.

ARTICLE VII: 1. Rights of way: Traffic entering a road from the left has priority. So has the traffic from the right, and also the traffic from the middle. 2. Lane discipline (VII, I): All Indian traffic at all times and irrespective of direction of travel shall occupy the same center of the road.

ARTICLE VIII: Roundabouts: India has no roundabouts. Apparent traffic islands in the middle of crossroads have no traffic management function. Any other impression should be ignored.

ARTICLE IX: Overtaking is mandatory. Every moving vehicle is required to overtake every other moving vehicle, particularly if it has just overtaken you.
Overtaking should only be undertaken in suitable conditions, such as in the face of oncoming traffic, around bends, at junctions and in the middle of villages and city centers. No more than two inches should be allowed between your vehicle and the one you are passing -- one inch in the case of bicycles or pedestrians.

ARTICLE X: Reversing: no longer applicable since no vehicle in India has reverse gear.

From an Indian student of English:

What are the five great races of mankind? The 100-yard, the hurdles, the quarter-mile, the mile, and the three miles.

The four seasons are salt, pepper, mustard, and vinegar.


Sometimes the change of only one letter can create a whole new meaning. See what happened to these familiar sayings!

HARLEZ VOUS FRANCAIS? Can you drive a French motorcycle?
IDIOS AMIGOS We're wild and crazy guys.
RIGOR MORRIS The cat is dead.
RESPONDEZ S'IL VOUS PLAID Honk if you are Scottish.
POSH MORTUM Death styles of the rich & famous.
VENI, VIPI, VICI I came. I am a very important person. I conquered.
PRO BOZO PUBLICO Support your local clown.
FELIX NAVIDAD Our cat has a boat.
APRES MOE LE DELUGE Curly and Larry got wet.
ICH LIBERICH I'm really crazy about having dough.
VISA LA FRANCE Don't leave your chateau without it.
PORTE-KOCHERE Sacramental wine.
MAZEL TON Tons of good luck.
QUIP PRO QUO A fast retort.
COGITO, EGGO SUM I think. Therefore, I am a waffle.
QUE SERA SERF Life is feudal.
MONAGE A TROIS I am three years old.
HASTE CUISINE Fast French food.
LE ROI EST MORT. JIVE LE ROI The king is dead. No kidding.
FUI GENERIS What's mine is mine.
EX POST FUCTO Lost in the mail.
CA VA SANS DIRT And that's not gossip.
BUN JOUR The daily special at the bakery.
BAN JOUR The daily special of the League of Decency.
BEN JOUR Charlton Heston's cousin.
BIN JOUR A special at the thrift shop.
BONE JOUR A special at the meat market.
ALOHA OY Love, greetings and farewell from such a pain you should never know.

The equator is a menagerie lion running round the earth through Africa.



The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Any man who owns a cow can always find a woman to milk her.

The road to Heaven is well signposted, but it is badly lit at night.

Never trust anyone who doesn't like cats.

He who pays the piper calls the tune.

No rearing, no manners.

The blacksmith's horse and the cobbler's wife are always the last to have shoes.

Don't bid the DEVIL good day till you meet him.

No matter how tall your grandfather was, you have to do our own growing.

The tongue ties knots that the teeth cannot loosen.

Castles were built a stone at a time.

If it's got badly, it'll go badly.

You can't build a barrel round a bung hole.

Never ask a fox to mind the hens.

The English always credit the rest of us with the qualities they don't need themselves.

If you lend your coat, don't cut off the buttons.

There are as many good fish in the sea as ever came out of it.

The smaller the cabin the wider the door.

There's as many good horses in carts as in coaches.



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