Bear News Beartown News
APRIL 1, 2003



Abraham Noe-Hays is on the final leg of a 15,000-mile tour around the country in a 1989 Volkswagen Jetta powered by . . . vegetable oil.
He didn't take the high road, using store-bought Wesson or Pastene. The
"Green Mountain Grease Machine" drove coast-to-coast smelling like a Whopper and humming on 300 gallons of the stuff that restaurants throw out.
"Chinese restaurants are best. They often use liquid oils, not solids, so I can pump it right into my tank," said the 26-year-old from Putney, VT, where he started in July and finishes tomorrow. yesterday, Noe-Hays stopped at Taunton High School to deliver the message he's taken across the country: There is an alternative to fossil fuel.
Veggie power is nothing new. Rudolph Diesel predicted it would work back in 1892 when he patented his internal combustion engine. But petroleum was cheaper then, and still is. A gallon of diesel today costs about $1.60, while Wesson oil goes for $7.50.
Noe-Hays gets his pre-used fuel for free -- although the Jetta is diesel-oil-powered until the gunk in the trunk warms up enough to run the engine.
His major expense is a $10 filter every 50 miles because of french-fry clogs.
Since July, Noe-Hays has been driving from trash bin to trash bing, looking for fuel and dealing with curious people and animals.
"Yosemite was particularly troublesome," he said. "The bears tried to eat my car."


Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
While riding a bicycle you must have both of your hands on  the handle bars at all times.
It is against the law to roller blade on a state highway.
If you are in possession of illegal substances you must pay taxes on them. However, paying taxes on these items does not make them legal.


And here is yet another example of why we really like House Majority Leader Tom DeLay.... 
"I was at a celebration of India's
Independence Day,"
Delay remarked recently, "and a Frenchman came walking up to me and started talking to me about Iraq, and it was obvious we were not going to agree.  And I said, 'Wait a minute. Do you speak German?'  And he looked at me kind of funny and said, 'No, I don't speak German.'  And I said, 'You're welcome,' turned around and walked off."


It is illegal to skateboard without a license.
Men may not appear in a public place while wearing any kind of strapless gown.
Women can be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer. The
salon owner can also be fined for this horrible crime.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal. It is most
probably also very painful and very weird.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on
Sunday or ''she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.'' So, ladies should be sure to check the calendar before jumping out of perfectly good airplanes.

3D Animated Flags
Courtesy of



 Thibodeaux was driving past Boudreaux's house and saw a sign that read: "Boat for Sale".  Thibodeaux marches up to Boudreaux's front porch and raps hard on the door and Boudreaux opens it.
Thibodeaux say,
"Boudreaux! How long we ban frands?"
Boudreaux say, 
"Well..All out lives Thibodeaux"
Thibodeaux say,
"Why don't you told me you gotta boat?"
Boudreaux say,
"I ant gotta boat"
Thibodeaux say,
"Da' sign say; "BOAT FOR SALE".
Boudreaux say,
"OH-NO Thibodeaux!"..".See dat ol '72 pickem'up truck?"
Thibodeaux say,
"yas, I see dat old pickem'up truck"
Boudreaux say,
"See dat '76 Chevrolet Ce-dan?"
Thibodeaux say,
"yas, I see dat Ce-dan"
Boudreaux say,
"Well, dey boat for sale."
It is illegal to rob a bank in Louisiana and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol. We assume that it is also illegal to use a real pistol.


Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship. Unfortunately, it has been difficult to explain this law to the potential offenders.


Ministers are not allowed to perform marriages if either the
bride or groom is drunk.



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