A Mexican man
becomes an instant millionaire after winning the lottery.
With his newfound wealth, he decides on exactly what he will buy. He
buys a 20 acre plot of land in Mexico and hires an architect.
want mi casa to be built right there, with big columns in front, and a
marble foyer, and at the end of the hall I want a halo statue." The
architect, excited about making mega bucks off this man, jots down
exactly what the Mexican wants, "I'll do it sir, I'll make this a fine
house for you!"
All the plans are made and the architect starts construction. He
searches six different countries to find exquisite columns for the front
of the house and has marble shipped in from France to line the foyer.
The only problem he has is that he cannot locate a halo statue. Knowing
that religious symbols are important to many Mexicans, he continues to
search high and low for month after month. The house is finally
complete, but alas, the architect was never able to locate a halo
Swallowing his pride for not being able to complete the order, he takes
the Mexican to see his new home.
"Si Senor!" exclaims the Mexican. "You got da columns in front of mi
casa!" The architect smiles. They enter the house and the Mexican
notices the marble floor. "Wonderful! I love mi new marble floor Senor!"
states the Mexican as he wanders down the hall. He reaches the end of
the hall and looks puzzled.
"Senor? Where is my halo statue?" asks the Mexican.
"Well, sir, I'm afraid to have to tell you this, but I searched high and
low and just could not for the life of me figure out what a halo statue
is, much less find one for you anywhere," says the architect, hanging
his head in shame.
"What? You don't know what
a halo statue is?"
"No, sir, I'm sorry, I do not know,"
replies the architect.
says the Mexican,
"it's that thing
that goes 'ringy dingy' and you pick it up and say,
Matched Mexican Luggage
from the same supermarket"
Nine people were
injured in a Mexican apartment. The bed broke.
3D Animated Flags
Courtesy of 3DFlags.com
A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and
expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other
things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of
these great cigars and without yet having made even his first
premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed a claim against
the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the
cigars were lost "in a series of small fires." The insurance
company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man
had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer
sued....and won! In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with
the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The Judge
stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the
company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable
and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire,
without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire,"
and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy
and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the
ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the
rare cigars lost in the "fires."
the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him
arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim
and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the
lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured
property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00
This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent
Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
AMERICAN COURT QUOTES
Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person
dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about
it until the next morning?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how
old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: She had three children, right?
Q: How many were boys?
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning
pursuant to a deposition notice that I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you
performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead
Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What
school did you go to?
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it
affect your memory at all?
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of
something that you've