careful research, it has been discovered that the artist
Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:
aunt - Verti Gogh
Brother who ate
prunes - Gotta Gogh
Brother who worked
at a convenience store - Stopn Gogh
Yugoslavia - U Gogh
bleached his clothes white - Hue Gogh
Illinois - Chica Gogh
Magician uncle -
Mexican cousin -
American half-brother - Grin Gogh
Nephew who drove a
stagecoach - Wellsfar Gogh
Constipated uncle -
aunt - Tan Gogh
Bird lover uncle -
psychoanalyst - E Gogh
- Man Gogh
Aunt who taught
positive thinking - Wayto Gogh
nephew - Poe Gogh
Sister who loved
disco - Go Gogh
Italian uncle - Day
Niece who travels
country in a van - Winnie Bay Gogh
best friend is his dog, better even than his wife.
Blubber will keep
Every man can rule
a surly wife but him that has her.
He that boasts of
his own knowledge proclaims his ignorance.
He that will enter
Paradise, must come up with the right key.
meat-packer named Young,
One day, when his nerves were unstrung,
Pushed his wife's ma - unseen -
In the chopping machine,
Then canned her and labeled her "Tongue."
who lives in Duluth
Has wedded a widow named Ruth,
Who is so sentimental
Concerning things dental
She calls her dear Second her Twoth.
old maid of Cohoes,
In despair, taught her bird to propose:
But the parrot, dejected
At being accepted,
Spoke some words too profane to disclose.
an old maid of Oneida,
Who screamed at the sight of a spider,
She would faint at a lamb
And run from a ram,
But fearlessly tackle hard cider.
blush in the face than a spot in the heart.
Confine your tongue,
lest it confine you.
Don't cut your
cactus in a neighbor's garden.
I don't want cheese,
I just want to get out of the trap.
Shake a bridle over
a Texan's grave and he'll rise and steal a horse.
On a sunny day, the
favorite friend of a hungry buzzard is a dead horse.
The seagull thinks
it is an act of kindness to give the fish a lift in the
If a women
and two men are shipwrecked on an island for a month,
what would happen?
If they were
Spanish, one of the men would kill the other.
If they were Italian, the woman would kill one of the men.
If they're English, nothing would happen, because they
hadn't been introduced.
If they were American, nothing would happen because the
men would be too busy talking business to join the lady.
And if they are French; There Is No Problem!