Bear News Beartown News
MARCH 1, 2009

THE COUNTRY CORNER

Drinking with an Old Forge NY Girl
 

A  Mexican, an Arab, and an Old Forge girl are in the same bar. When the  Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his pistol, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says,
"In Mexico ,
our glasses are so cheap we don't  need to drink with the same one twice."  

The  Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks no-alcohol beer  (cuz he's a muslim!), throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces.
He says,
"In  the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't  need to drink with the same one twice either."
The Old Forge girl, cool as a cucumber picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab.
Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says, "In New York we have so many illegal aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice."

ON THE PRAIRIE

Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white government official, 'You have observed the white man for 90 years. You've seen his wars and his technological advances. You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your opinion,
where did the white man go wrong?'

The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. 'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water. Women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. 'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.'


      ALASKA
The rest of the world cannot understand how, after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can kiss and make-up.
For instance, Gov. Palin has invited, to her great state of Alaska, the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden.
She has set up a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and hired three prominent experts in their field to assist them.
Dick Cheney will lead them on the hunt, Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins each evening, and Bill Clinton will entertain their wives and daughters.
What a lady! That Sarah is such a sport and she thinks of everything!


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HOLLYWOOD

Hollywood blockbuster titles often go through some serious alterations for international audience since direct translation does not always sound smooth. Some movie titles get changed so much that they get lost in translation.

Some Hollywood movie titles were translated abroad as:

IN GERMANY:
Die Hard: Die Slowly
Dodgeball: Full Of The Nuts
IN CHINA:
Boogie Nights: His Great Device Makes Him Famous
Knocked Up: One Night, Big Belly
IN AGRENTINA:
Grease: Vaseline
IN PERU:
Knocked Up: Slightly Pregnant
IN CZECH REPUBLIC:
Bad Santa: Santa Is A Pervert
IN JAPAN:
Army Of Darkness: Captain Supermarket (WTF?)


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