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 FEBRUARY 1, 2003 |
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FEBRUARY 1, 2003 |
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THE COUNTRY CORNER |
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CALIFORNIA
When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at
its intended victim during a holdup in Long Beach, California, would
be robber James Elliot did something that can only inspire wonder:
He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again.
This time it worked.
SWITZERLAND
The chef
at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine
and, after a little hopping around, submitted a claim to his
insurance company. The company, suspecting negligence, sent out
one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine
out and lost a finger.
The
chef's claim was approved.
ILLINOIS
A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear
a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his
vehicle to find a woman had taken the space.
Understandably, he shot her.
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ZIMBABWE
After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus
driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be
transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to
admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and
offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the
passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the
patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.
The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.
VERMONT
The young
couple invited their aged parson for Sunday dinner.
While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," Little Johnny replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said Johnny "I heard Pa say to Ma, 'Might as well have the old goat for dinner today as any other day.'"
3D Animated Flags
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AMERICAN
An American teenager was in the hospital yesterday recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit. A mother took her daughter to the doctor and asked him to give her an examination to determine the cause of her daughters swollen abdomen. It only took the doctor about 2 seconds to say "Your daughter is pregnant." The mother turned red with fury and she argued with the doctor that her daughter was a good girl and would never compromise her reputation by having sex with a boy. The doctor faced the window and silently watched the horizon. The mother became enraged and screamed, "Quit looking out the window! Aren't you paying attention to me?" "Yes, of course I am paying attention ma'am. It's just that the last time this happened, a star appeared in the East, and three wise men came. And I was hoping that they would show up again." News blurb in a local newspaper: Police report that a truck carrying a shipment of Viagra to a pharmaceutical warehouse has been hijacked. They are patrolling the area looking for hardened criminals.
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