MORE
TRAFFIC LAWS
Pennsylvania
- If you spy a team of
approaching horses, you are
required by law to pull to the
side of the road and cover your
car with a blanket or dust cover
that has been painted or sewn to
blend into the scenery. But, if
the horses react skittish to your
efforts, you are then required to
disassemble your car and hide the
parts in the nearby underbrush.
South
Carolina
- In
Hilton Head, South Carolina, you
cannot leave trash in your vehicle
out of fear of attracting rats.
Tennessee
- It is
illegal to fire a gun at any wild
game other than whales from a
moving car.
West
Virginia
- It is
perfectly legal, for road
maintenance purposes, to scavenge
road kill.
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AMERICAN
DICTIONARY
Cashtration
(n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the
subject financially impotent for an indefinite
period of time.
Ignoranus :
A person who's both stupid and an asshole.
Intaxication :
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts
until you realize it was your money to start
with.
Reintarnation :
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
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Bozone ( n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that
stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone
layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.
Foreploy :
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the
purpose of
getting laid.
Giraffiti :
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high
Sarchasm :
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and
the person who doesn't get it.
Inoculatte :
To
take coffee intravenously when you are running
late.
Osteopornosis :
A degenerate disease.
Karmageddon :
It's
like, when everybody is sending off all these
really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the
Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day
consuming only things that are good for you.
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MORE AMERICAN DICTIONARY
Glibido : All talk and no action.
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.
Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor ( n): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.
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