Bear News Beartown News
DECEMBER 1, 2006

THE COUNTRY CORNER

HEAVEN & HELL

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, "Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like." The Lord led the holy man to two doors. He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in.  In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water. The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly.  They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight  of their misery and suffering. The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."

 They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water.  The people  were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand."  "It is simple" said the Lord, "it requires but one skill."  You see, they have learned to feed each other, while the greedy think only of themselves."

USA BUMPER STICKERS

*IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!*
*Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.*
*If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.*
*Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.*
*The Earth Is Full - Go Home.*
*I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.*
*So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.*
*Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.*
*If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?*
*Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.*
*Illiterate? Write For Help.*
*Honk If Anything Falls Off.*
*Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.*
*He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost, But is Miles From The Next Exit.*
*I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person.*
*You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!*
*I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.*
*Fight Crime: Shoot Back!*
*(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep) If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...*
*Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph Also Are Timed For 70 mph*
*If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?*
*Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.*
*Boldly Going Nowhere.*
*Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.*
*Heart Attacks: God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends*
*How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is Lost?*
*GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.*
*All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.*
 *"POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR THE SAME REASON"*

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SINGAPORE

A Singaporean student broke the Guinness World Record for the shortest time needed to type a 160-character SMS message on Sunday after whizzing through the task in less than 42 seconds in a competition.

Sixteen-year-old Ang Chuang Yang typed the SMS (short message service) message in 41.52 seconds, beating the previous record of 42.22 seconds set by American Ben Cook in July, according to Singapore Telecommunications, organizers of the competition.
"I'll try for 39 seconds next year," said Ang, adding that the trick to speedy text messaging was to use a mobile phone with larger keys on the dial pad.
SMS messaging competitions around the world use the same SMS text provided by the Guinness organization --
"The razor-toothed piranhas of the genera Serrasalmus and Pygocentrus are the most ferocious freshwater fish in the world. In reality they seldom attack a human."

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Email: dernc@sover.net


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
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Town Clerk Annette Cappy.

Email: dernc@sover.net


Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All Rights Reserved
This site hosted by VTweb.com