NOVEMBER 1, 2010
THE COUNTRY CORNER
Whistling underwater is
At one time it was
illegal to tie a giraffe to a
Women must obtain
written permission from their
husbands to wear false teeth
All residents shall bathe
every Saturday night.
At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as
a meat processing plant.
The most effective mosquito repellent is a
Your snow-blower gets stuck on the roof.
You think the start of deer hunting season is
a national holiday.
You head south to go to your cottage.
You frequently clean grease off your barbecue
so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
The town officials greet you on the street by
your first name.
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
The major parish fundraiser isn't bingo- its
You find -20F a little chilly.
The trunk of your car doubles as a deep
attended a formal event in your best clothes,
your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots.
You can play road hockey on skates.
Shoveling the driveway constitutes a great
upper body workout.
You know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter,
Almost Winter, and Construction.
The municipality buys a zamboni before a bus.
You've taken your kids trick-or-treating during a blizzard.
You only own three spices- salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
The mosquitoes have landing lights.
You have more miles on your snowblower than your car.
You have 10 favorite recipes for venison.
The local Hardware store on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.
You live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow.
Making it home during Mud Season is a competitive sport.
You think everyone from the city has an accent.
Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder, and, your hand over my mouth.
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Copyright 2000 Claude Dern, All
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