Bear News Beartown News
OCTOBER 1, 2010

THE COUNTRY CORNER

JOKES

Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash?
He's all right now.

How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.

How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb?
She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."

What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.

What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.

What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

What do you call four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.

What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?
A pachydermatologist

JOKES

What has four legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?
A pool table.

What kind of coffee was served on the Titanic? Sanka.
and what kind of lettuce?
Iceberg.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

Where do you find a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.

Why are there so many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.

Why do bagpipers walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.

10 GAMES for OLD AGE

1.)Sag, You're it
2.)Pin the Toupee on the bald guy
3.)20 questions shouted into your good ear
4.)Kick the bucket
5.)Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over
6.)Doc Goose
7.)Simon says something incoherent
8.)Hide and go pee
9.)Spin the Bottle of Mylanta
10.)Musical recliners
 

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JOKES

Two men were walking their dogs together. The first guy with a Chocolate lab and the second a Chihuahua.
The first guy says, "Hey, you want to get something to eat?"
The second guy replies, "Yeah, but they all have signs that say
'No Dogs Allowed'."
The first guy with the lab puts sunglasses on and hands the other guy a pair. "Follow my lead," he says.
As he walks into the restaurant a waiter stops him and says, "Sir, no dogs allowed."
The man replies, "It's O.K., this is my seeing eye dog." The waiter apologizes and leads the man to a table as the second man enters.
The same waiter stops him but the guy says, "This is my seeing eye dog. I'm with the other guy."
The waiter replies, "Sir, you can't fool me, you have a Chihuahua."
The man freaks out and says, "A Chihuahua? They gave me a Chihuahua?!"

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Email: dernc@sover.net


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