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![]() OCTOBER 1, 2009 |
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THE COUNTRY CORNER |
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ECONOMIC STIMULUS
Sometime this year, we taxpayers
will again receive an Economic
Stimulus payment. This is a very
exciting program. I'll explain it
using the Q and A format:
Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money? A. From taxpayers. Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? A. Only a smidgen. Q. What is the purpose of this payment? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely: . If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to . If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. . If you purchase a computer, it will go to . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico, . If you buy a car, it will go to . If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to . If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. Instead, keep the money in Spending it at yard sales, or Going to ball games, or Spending it on prostitutes, or Beer or Tattoos. (These are the only American businesses still operating in the Conclusion: Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day. |
WASHINGTON DC
An
interesting observation appeared in the
Australian Shooter Magazine this week: "If you
consider that there has been an average of
160,000 troops in the
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U S CLUNKERS A clunker vehicle at 15 mpg and 12,000 miles per year uses 800 gallons a year of gasoline. BEARTOWN BEARS
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