Bear News Beartown News
OCTOBER 1, 2001



Arizona was not discovered until 1900 or so because of the sand. Explorers would take a step forward and slide back two steps in the unstable sand. They finally had to walk backwards with the aid of specially designed rear view mirrors.
In Arizona you'll find: heat, the Grand Canyon, and what's left of the Colorado River after California gets throughwith it.

Arizona place names: Snowflake (average temperature 137degrees F), Tuba City, Turkey Flat, Bill Williams' Mountain


Colorado is a Spanish term with many meanings such as red, colored, and New California. It has mountain peaks, valleys, meadows, streams, and the eastern part, which is flat and grows grass.
Some places in Colorado are: Cripple Creek, Dream House Acres, Hygiene, Purgatory


The person whose freehand design of the state continues to earn the wrath of the locals in the northern half of the state where it is 13 miles wide and features SNOW! If you like potatoes, these wonderful tubers make great souveniers and can be found alongside all roads.
Popular locations are: Hell's Half Acre, Hobo Grove, Gospel Hump Wilderness Area, Atomic City, Small


This is a big state and it is common to have many towns, state parks, and residents referred to as BIG.
Examples are: Big Arm, Big Sky, Big Sandy, Big Timber, Big Horn


Nevada has scenery typical of most anywhere else one has ever been.. Many of the low budget tourist brochure pictures are likely to be from the National Geographic and may not actually be taken in Nevada.
Visitors can swim without fear of drowning in the following DRY lakes: Cowhead Lake, Massacre Lake, Alkali Lake, Lower Alkali Lake, Middle Alkali Lake, Berlin Ichthyosaur State Park


This once French occupied area has an unusual round capitol building which makes it impossible to ever corner a politician.
However the following place names show no French influence: Truth or Consequences, Loving, Senator Clark's Field, Rainsville



A wanton eye is the messenger of a lusting heart.
The land of marriage has this peculiarity: That strangers are desirous of inhabiting it, while its natural inhabitants would gladly be exiled.
The man dying to hang himself can always find a noose.
There are no greater prudes than those women who have their own dirty secrets to hide.
The skin fits closer than the shirt.
The ungrateful son is a wart on his father's face; to leave it is a blemish, to cut it off is pain.
When you enjoy loving your neighbor, it ceases to be a virtue.
Whosoever eats bread without first washing his hands, it is as though he had sinned with a harlot.


One who is free to sin, sins less; the very power weakens the seeds of sin.
Teaching a Jew to deal in the market is like teaching grandmother to eat her eggs.
You are sure to marry a woman either beautiful or ugly; If ugly she will be a punishment; if beautiful, you will share her with others. Therefore do not marry.

An Example




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