Bear News Beartown News
JANUARY 1, 2005


Hot NY Bumper Sticker

A 100% Bi-Partisan Political Bumper

Democrats put it on the rear bumper.
Republicans put it on the front bumper.


AP and UPI reported that the French Government announced yesterday that  it  has raised its terror alert level from "run" to "hide."
The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate."
 The escalation of the alert was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed one of France's white flag factories, disabling their military.


You're from

You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but "Philly." And New Jersey has always been "Jersey."
You can't go to a wedding without hearing the "Chicken Dance," at least 1 Polka and either an Italian song (sung in Italian,) or "Hava Nagila."

Words like "hoagie",   "chipped ham", "sticky buns", "shoo-fly pie", "pierogies" "gobs",   "gum bands",  "pop",  and "pocketbook" actually mean something to you.
You know several places to purchase or that serve Scrapple, Summer Sausage (Lebanon Bologna), and Hot Bacon Dressing.
You know the difference between a cheese steak & a pizza steak sandwich  and know that you can't get a really good one outside PA.
Customers ask the waitress for "drippy eggs" for breakfast.
You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Paradise, Mars, and Slippery Rock are PA towns.
You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth are.
A traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County.
Your graduating class consisted of mostly Polish, German, & Italian names.
You know how to respond to the question "Djeetyet?" (Didyoueatyet?)
You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, Bala Cynwyd, Conshohocken, and Monongahela.

You're from

You think crosswalks are for wimps
Khakis are something you start the car with
Anything past Worcester is "the middle of nowhere"
You are amazed when traveling out of town that people who work at McDonald's actually speak English.
You think it's not actually tailgating unless your bumper is touching the car in front of you
You know that a yellow light means at least 5 more cars can get through . . . . . . And that a red light means 2 more can.
You think of Rhode Island as the "deep South"
Someone has honked at you because you didn't peel out the second the light turned green
You've honked at someone because they didn't peel out the second the light turned green
Stop signs mean slow down a little, but only if you feel like it
$15 to park is a bargain
At the ice cream shop, you call chocolate sprinkles "Jimmies" 


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